The 5 Types Of Intimacy

The 5 Types Of Intimacy

Intimacy is much deeper than the power of touch. A successful, close relationship requires four different types of intimacy. These include spiritual, physical, mental, and emotional intimacy. We’ve got the inside look at the four types of intimacy to ensure your relationship is performing at the deepest levels.

What Is Intimacy As A Whole?

Intimacy involves different layers other than the physical intimacy that most of us understand. Physical intimacy is important in a relationship, but the other types of intimacy make up a deeper part of our connections. Intimacy touches on sharing and being vulnerable with a partner.

The four types of intimacy are vital to all relationships. You’ll find yourself alone without these types of connections. Humans thrive on close relationships. Even if they’re fearful of being close to someone, honesty and vulnerability must happen at some point for the relationship to move forward.

Intimacy is most often thought of in romantic relationships; however, you can have intimate relationships with all sorts of people. Whether it’s your parents, siblings, or close friends, it’s important to create bonds with those close to you.

#1. Emotional Intimacy

Emotional Intimacy

Emotional intimacy is one of the toughest types for some people. Many people are taught emotions needs to be tucked away and only brought to the surface in special times. This isn’t true. Emotional intimacy is all about being open about your feelings and thoughts. This helps connect on another level. You’re able to reveal to the other person everything from your worst fears and your scary dreams to your hopeful accomplishments and your most exciting dreams. You feel safe communicating with each other on this level. This feels like you’re in the middle of a warm bear hug. There is no judgment in this type of intimacy.

Emotional intimacy allows you to be vulnerable without fear. You trust the person with your life as they hold all of your emotions in their heart. You may express expectations about your relationship throughout the years. This could mean you talk about impactful events that happen outside of your home life. You may talk about how something the other person did made you feel bad and work to resolve it.

If you need to increase emotional intimacy in a relationship, there are a few things you can try. It’s difficult at times to talk about emotions that are hidden deep beneath the surface. Sit down and hash it out. Be open and honest with one another. Ask each other questions to open the doors to your heart. Listen to the other person with open ears. Don’t ever invalidate emotions, but respond with loving and honest words.

#2. Intellectual Intimacy

Intellectual Intimacy

Intellectual or mental intimacy is the type of love that challenges each other. If you never challenged each other, you wouldn’t move forward in your relationship. You must have safety in sharing viewpoints and beliefs. YOu should be able to bring these beliefs to the table without fear of failure. Your partner may not agree with you, but they must respect your beliefs. Even if you are alike in many ways, you are different people. You’re allowed to have differing opinions.

Intellectual intimacy may involve debating on big topics. You may talk about the importance of saving money or a college education. You’re open to hearing the other person’s thoughts on the topics. You’re able to analyze movies or plays. This brings a healthy, fun debate to the relationship. You can go deep talking about the meaning of life. No one is ever wrong in these discussions.

You can increase intellectual intimacy by opening the doors to more communication. Spark discussions on topics where you have different thoughts. Be careful not to argue your opinions. Don’t ever get defensive because someone else holds a different opinion than you. It’s healthy to listen to the other person’s thoughts on serious things in the world. You’re connecting through philosophical expression, which opens your minds and hearts to other visions.

#3. Experiential Intimacy

Experiential Intimacy

Experiential intimacy is one of the most common types of intimacy in a relationship because many couples share common interests. This type of intimacy is the type that leads to shared experiences and moving towards common goals. You’re making memories and experiencing life together along the way. The bond you’re creating and that feeling of being closer than ever is a result of experiential intimacy.

Many times a familiar smell will bring old memories to the surface. Smelling chocolate chip cookies will bring you back to the time your partner baked you a big batch of hot cookies. Recalling memories brings sensory reactions to your mind. The memories you create with your loved ones will show up as experiential intimacy. You’re always making memories, even when you have no clue your mind is storing these tiny things.

Experiential intimacy happens when you do something together towards a common goal. You build each other up along the way. It can even be when you cook a fun meal together. When you travel together, you make new memories in a new place.

You’ll make memories along the way in your journey as partners. If you need to increase your experiential intimacy, you can simply spend more time together. Plan new adventures and activities. Sometimes the best memories stem from crazy times, too. Plan dates, so you’re always connecting on a new level and making new memories.

Embark on new adventures with your partner to increase experiential intimacy.

#4. Spiritual Intimacy

Spiritual Intimacy

Spiritual intimacy doesn’t mean you need to pray all day together or do your meditation exercises together for hours at a time. This type of intimacy is forged when you experience deep moments together. If you’re religious, praying is a way to experience this type of intimacy. If you aren’t religious, you can do other things that help you connect on a spiritual level.

Do the things that help you see the world in a different light together. Spiritual intimacy might be as simple as you watch the sun set behind the clouds together. Take a hike letting all of the details of nature surround the two of you. Dig deep into your ethical and philosophical beliefs. Read quotes or Bible verses to each other. Find a power higher than yourselves, and talk about it.

Spiritual intimacy is about seeing that life is so much bigger than what you have in front of you. It’s crucial that you talk about the little and big things in life. You don’t need to set aside an entire day to boost this type of intimacy. It’s found in the tiny details. Remember, love is in the details. Spirituality is something big, yet you can talk about it in the details.

#5. Fear Of Intimacy

Fear Of Intimacy

It’s normal to fear intimacy because it’s something under our surface feelings. It would be too easy to go through life living on the surface. In order to have meaningful relationships, you have to dig deeper. Fearing intimacy is about holding people back and keeping your guard around your heart. It cannot work in a successful relationship.

Most people do want to share their intimate feelings, yet they are afraid of getting hurt. The most important thing to do is face your fears. Don’t hold on to the tough things in life. You have to move forward so you can connect with another person. You must first have intimate types of relationships with yourself. Connect with yourself and feel your feelings, so you’re able to feel them on a deeper level with someone else.


In conclusion, it’s interesting that intimacy isn’t all about touch. These four types of intimacy will help you grow as a couple. A healthy relationship means using all four types of intimacy on a regular basis. You must always have lines of communication open and be ready to share your deepest feelings. This will help strengthen your lives together as you move forward. Feel the bear hug of being in a deep, intimate relationship today.

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